While waiting for word of the next Orb, Ash has issues.
Location: Gold War > As Good as Gold
Level/Quest/Items required: None
Release Date: March 12th, 2010
Objective: See how Baron Au'Mydas got obsessed with gold and acquired the powers which led him to attempt to gild the world!
Objective completed: Gold tastes shiny! What a golden opportunity!
Au'Mydas: One! Ahahaa!
Au'Mydas: Two! Ahahaa!
Au'Mydas: Three! Four! Five!
Au'Mydas: Gold, gold, gold! I love the sight, the smell, the sound...
Au'Mydas: ...The TASTE of it!
Au'Mydas: Who needs friends? They just leave you. Who needs family? They just argue incessantly, then THEY leave you, too.
Au'Mydas: But not gold. Oh no, no no no. You can save it, store it, count it over and over.
Au'Mydas: Just LOOK at it!
Au'Mydas: And its mine. Mine! Or it would be, if it weren't for that philanthropic old cointosser of a King!
Au'Mydas: Giving away all my gold! It IS mine! Who knows every pound of it, every pence? Me!
Au'Mydas: Its mine by right of familiarity!
???: Of course it is...
The Irismancer: But why bother with the piddly fortune of an obtuse and foolishly benevolent King...
Au'Mydas: 465... 466... 46--
The Irismancer: ...When everything you've ever wanted could be yours at the snap of your fingers?
Au'Mydas: Who's there?! Who are you?
Au'Mydas: ... Can you really give me that?
The Irismancer: Of course I can, with the help of my Master.
The Irismancer: IF you do me a small favor.
Au'Mydas: Anything! Just give me GOLD!
The Irismancer: I will do much better than that. Much, much better!
The Irismancer: Hehehe!
Au'Mydas: Haha. Ha...
The Irismancer: ...
Au'Mydas: Enough stalling. Give me my gold!
The Irismancer: ...
The Irismancer: I'm not just going to GIVE you gold. Any foo, can collect gold.
The Irismancer: Thanks to the power of my Master- and soon to be YOUR Master- has granted me, I will MAKE you gold: Your body the essence of gold.
The Irismancer: Your very BREATH will be gold!
The Irismancer: In fact... since you said you love even the taste of gold...
Au'Mydas: I do! I do, I do!
The Irismancer: Whatever you kiss from this moment on will BECOME gold!
The Irismancer casts a spell on Au'Mydas
The Irismancer: In return, you will teach those foolish heroes...
The Irismancer: And especially <Character>...
The Irismancer: ...The power of gold!
The Irismancer: He might have shamed me once, but YOU will teach him the folly of his hubris!
Au'Mydas kisses the floor to make it turn into gold
Au'Mydas: Yes! Yesssss. Preciousssss... GOLD!
Au'Mydas: I will cause golden meteor showers, volcanic eruptions of molten gold...
Au'Mydas: The world will end in a gilded cataclysm!!!
The Irismancer: *(sigh)*
The Irismancer: Yeah, I was thinking more along the lines of a war.
The Irismancer: Turning the monsters to gold, gilding the cities of Lore, distracting <Character> that way while some...
The Irismancer: ...other plans...
The Irismancer: ...are put into motion.
The Irismancer: You know, a LOGICAL use of your newfound power.
Au'Mydas: Ooooh! Oh yes. Yesssss! A war. A golden, glittering WAR!
The Irismancer: *mutter* Madman! Madmen and and fools. Master was right when he said that's all he had to work with...
The Irismancer: Now, if only <Character> is kept busy enough!
Location: Gold War -> Bossfight
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of Gold War
Release Date: March 18, 2010
Objective: Is still gold! Get a move on and degild those monsters!
Objective completed: Lukkhi will be so happy that the flow of gold in Lore has returned to normal. Talk to him to upgrade your Tarnished Axe, Wand, or Claw to a golden version!
Au’Mydas: So much gold! So shiny! So, so… GOLDgeous!
Au’Mydas: The only thing in this clearing that isn’t gold is ME!
Au’Mydas: No, no, no, can’t have that, no
Au’Mydas: I have done it! Now to deal with the one who has slaughtered my precious, precioussss gold monsters!
Au’Mydas: Right after I try something…
Au’Mydas: Oooooooooow, ow ow. I think my insides are turning to gold!
Au’Mydas: I know they say women desire a heart of gold but… oweeee!
<You>: Who put you up to this?
Au’Mydas: *whimper* Silence is golden!
<You>: If I give you gold, will you talk?
Give 1 Gold
Au’Mydas: A dark stranger pulsing with ominous power visited me
Au’Mydas: *yelps* What happens when I have to go to the bathroom?!?!
<You>: Oh, I think I know who did this!
<You>: Did he say what he wanted?
<You>: No, nevermind. I KNOW what he’s after
<You>: Well, he won’t get it! Not if I can help it!
<You>: Let’s get you to King Alteon. HE can decide what to do with you now
Guard Nomas: What have you brought to his highness THIS time, <Class Title>?
Guard Nomas: Hmph
Guard Nomas: I think your safe to approach. I might guard our King with my life, but THIS one doesn't look too dangerous.
<You>: Your Highness, I think you know this…man
King Alteon: *Sigh* I do indeed know this threat to my people. This is Baron Au’Mydas Bayconn, the Royal Treasurer
Au’Mydas: You stole my gold! Give it back! Gold gold, I must hold gold!
Guard Nomas: Quiet, you. The sane people are talking
King Alteon: He was so diligent about his work, so meticulous when it came to keeping track of the Kingdom’s monies…
King Alteon: I can’t imagine what could have done this to him!
<You>: Oh, I can. One word
King Alteon: Not-
<You>: If not him, then he was probably behind whoever DID do this
King Alteon: We need to summon Warlic to help him, I think. Restoring him will take his mastery of magic
King Alteon: Thank you, <Character>. Once again you have saved our cities and this time, one of my servants. My gratitude goes with you
<You>: The pleasure was mine, Your Highness
The Irismancer: Aahah, I have found you. Here, all alone, left to rot in a cell. Perfect
The Irismancer: You have failed my Master! YOU no longer have your powers. You’re of no use now!
The Irismancer: AND all your monsters have been defeated AND <Character> suspects our involvement!
The Irismancer: Failure. Must. Be. Punished
The Irismancer: But what is the appropriate punishment for one as greedy as you?
The Irismancer: Aaah. Ah, yes. I have it
The Irismancer: Let THAT be a lesson to those who would fail my Master!
Location: ArchKnight Falconreach -> Hero -> Talk -> Basilisks
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of From Ice to.....
Release Date: May 1st, 2009
Objective: There might be a princess to rescue.
Objective completed: Well... we saved a prince... and collected lot of mucus... Ash needs to be a little more careful when putting stuff together though.
Ash: Wow, are you the hero who's going to help me become a knight?
You: I'll do what I can.
You: I was about to head out on a quest now. There's a cave of Basilisks that needs to be cleared out.
You: They've been fighting with a local tribe of faeries, many of which have royal blood, so you might be able to save a princess there.
Ash: Wow, thanks!
Ash: Do you think we might be able to find something to help the girl I met in the woods too?
Ash: She... she kinda had a little accident after she got turned into stone...
You: Wow... we can probably collect some basilisk mucus to glue her back together.
Ash: Mucus... ewww...
You: Trust me, that stuff is as sticky as anything. It'll get her put back together no problem.
Ash: If you say so...
Ash: Wow, look!
Ash: It's a faery princess! We saved her and now I'll get to be a knight for real!
You: Um, Ash...
Ash: It'll be awesome, we'll go to the faery court and her Dad will grant me a knighthood!
You: Ash... it's not a princess!
Ash: And then...
Ash: ...wait, what?
You: It's a faery prince, not a princess.
Ash: Oh. Sorry, I just, well, you're so tiny... I...
Ash: Oh well, at least we got enough mucus to glue the girl back together...
Ash: There. Finally done!
Warlic: Um, Ash, you might want to stand back and check your work...
Ash: Oh darn it...
To be continued...
Next Up: The Yaga Sisters
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of Basilisk Cave
Release Date: May 8, 2009
Objective: What do the five sinister sisters know about the missing princess?
Objective completed: No luck saving a princess this time... but at least Ash's friend isn't stone... amphibious, yes, but not stone.
Hero: Ash, I've heard of another princess that we can try to rescue. A princess disappeared in the depths of Doomwood several years ago.
Hero: I believe that the Yaga sisters have her prisoner or at least can give us some information as to her whereabouts.
Hero: While we're there we can see if they have a potion or spell that reverses the stone curse as well.
Osnero: Why do you bother us, heroes?
Osnero: We have left your precious Thursday alone...
Osnero: And the Savage Outworlder no longer heeds our summons as he once did, thanks to you.
Ash: Savage Outworlder?
Musuk: Never mind that.
Ash: I'm sorry, um... ma'am.
Ash: We come in peace...
Hero: OMG. I'm never taking you anywhere ever again.
Ash: We're only looking for information.
Skunch: Why should we help you at all?
Felst: SPEAK UP, SONNY!
Hero: You did just basically admit to still trying to summon the Savage Outworlder.
Skunch: ... You wish to take all our fun away, don't you, hero?
Gilth: ... You wish to take all our fun away, don't you, hero?
Hero: Only when what you consider "fun" threatens my very existence...
Osnero: Hero, we do not wish to waste time with you, what information do you seek?
Ash: A princess!!
Ash: Er... I mean, we're looking for one!
Ash: To.. uh..
Osnero: A princess? That is what you seek?
Osnero: He's looking for a princess, my dear.
Musuk: Yes, I heard, sister.
Musuk: A princess, yes, we know of one, but she doesn't need saving, hahaha.
Ash: Doesn't need saving? What have you done to her?!
Musuk: Nothing, little one.
Musuk: She doesn't need saving because she's right where she wants to be.
Ash: Where she wants to be?
Musuk: I came to Doomwood on my own, and wish to stay and pursue...fun... with my found sisters.
Musuk: I'm sorry, little hero, but I have no desire to be "saved".
Ash: ...I don't get it.
Hero: It's a royal crest.
Ash: Wait.. that means--
Hero: ... That she's a princess, yep.
Hero: Sorry, Ash... maybe they know of something that can help your friend though?
Ash: Oh! Do you think you can help her? She's kinda...
Ash: ...Kinda petrified right now.
Gilth: Yes, whoever did that does good work...
Felst: Yes, whoever did that does good work...
Ash: I don't want her to be stone though.
Osnero: You came to our neck of the woods and disrupt us, try to "save" one of us and you still ask more of us?
Musuk: Oh no you di'n't.
Osnero: I have no desire to spend my time making a potion for you now....
Osnero: Well, feel free to try your hand at the cauldron...
Skunch: *whisper* ...Sister?
Osnero: *whisper*We can stand back and watch the show, hahaha. Who knows what he'll mix up, or just what will explode!
Osnero: Just follow the ingredients as they light up, boy!
Ash: Here we go...
This screen appears.
Ash: Ok.. Here goes!
Ash: I guess I just pour it over her head...
Ash: GAH! I think I'm blind!
Princess: You sav--
Ash: OH NO!
Ash: Eww, you're all slimy!
Ash: Um, I mean beautiful.
Ash: But... maybe if I kiss her...
Hero: Sorry, Ash, looks like you need to find a Prince for this one...
Ash: But, I want to save her...
Next Up: Ash vs. the Volcano
Other names: Jungle Princess
Location: ArchKnight Falconreach > Hero > Talk > Jungle Princess
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of The Yaga Sisters
Release Date: May 22nd, 2009
Objective: There is a princess lost in the jungle, can you find her in time?
Objective completed: Well... you saved a princess... kinda... not really... (Although she did seem to be enjoying the lava bath!)
Hero: Ash, Yulgar has news of another princess! He's hired a tribe from the southern jungles to help bring in ore and exotic wood for weapons.
Hero: The leader's daughter has gone missing. If you're ready we can venture into the jungle and save her!
Ash: Wait... you... you're a princess?
Ash: Um.... I'll take that as a yes.
Ash: I'll save you from these other ooga-booga guys. I bet your tribe is around here somewhere...
Ash: Great, let's go!
Ash: Um, yeah, I think...
Ash: I think that this is your princess?
Ash: Oh good!
Ash: I'm so glad I found the right tribe! I've done it, I've finally saved a...
Ash: uh, well...
Ash: I'm not sure what she is but she's a princess!
Ash: Now her father will make a... a...
Ash: ...An ooga-booga knight!
Ash: did.. did you just toss her into the volcano?
Ash: Ok... I didn't save her then.
Next Up: Slushroom Princess
Other names: Princess Slushroom
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of Ash vs. the Volcano
Release Date: May 29th, 2009
Objective: Princess Slushroom has been kidnapped!
Objective completed: This princess.... is in another castle. It looks like Ash has some new armor and learned some new skills at least!
Hero: Ash! Princess Slushroom has been kidnapped! We have to save her!
Ash: This flower is beautiful!
Ash: Maybe it'll cheer up the mystery girl... she doesn't seem to enjoy being a frog...
Browser: My plans are foiled again!
Slushroom: Ffffhank fffou, Ffffash, fffut ffour Fffrinfresss is fin finofer castle! (*Thank you Ash, but our Princess is in another castle!)
Ash: You couldn't have told me that 2, 3, even 5 battles ago?
Ash: And have you just been watching the entire time?
Ash: You couldn't help out?
Ash: I mean, you're a retainer, but man, I know you fungi types have some moves...
Slushroom: Fffeesh... fffive feee a bbbreak, fffeere. I fffforfffot fffy bbbafoooka at ffffome! (*Sheesh... give me a break here. I forgot my bazooka at home!)
Ash: Here you go.
Twilly: Twillies hasn't ever seen a flower like this before...
Ash: I found this in the slushroom castle and thought that it would cheer you up.
Ash: Oh, I... I didn't think you'd eat it...
Ash: Oh wow! It must have been a magic flower!
Ash: having trouble finding the right words? It's okay, there's no need to thank me...
Ash: That wasn't exactly how I imagined it...
Ash: Well, at least you look human again.... frog wasn't your best look.
Ash: Don't hurt me! Please!
Ash: Stop shooting fireballs at me!!!!
Ash: Okay, I'm sorry for trying to kiss you all those times!
Ash: ...wait, what's that look?
Ash: Oh no, you thought it was only twice didn't you...
Several hours later...
Ash: Phew, ok, I think I lost her...
Ash: Now, which way is.... uh, out?
Ash: Why would someone leave this STUPID junk lying around?!
Ash: Oh... Guess he didn't have much choice.
Ash: Actually, it's not bad.
Young Hero Class Armor put on
Next up: Ice Princess
Location: Archknight Falconreach -> Hero -> Talk -> Ice Princess
Level/Quest/Items required: Guardianship or Dragonlord status; Completion of Slushroom Princess
Release Date: October 2, 2009
Objective: Can Ash and his mystery friend save the Ice Princess from her fate?
Objective completed: Melting the Ice Princess, curing fire breath and getting amnesia. It's all in a days work for an aspiring knight.
Hero: I’m going to talk with Warlic, Ash, and see if we can figure out a way to help your fiery friend
Hero: In the meantime, maybe you should head over and see Twilly? He’s been working on his healing magic
*Loads Princess as guest B*
Twilly: Ok, Dr. Twillies is in!
Twilly: What seems to be the twouble?
Alta: Well, we were on our way back from Oaklore…
Taros: …And we came to the old bridge…
Alta: You know, the old bridge…
Twilly: I think so…
Taros: …so yeah, we were crossing the bridge, and all of a sudden…
Alta: …I tripped over a GREAT BIG STINKY…
Taros: UGLY Hydra!
Alta: Just sitting there!
Taros: In the MIDDLE of the bridge!
Alta: I tripped and went over on my ankle
Taros: *mutters* Who would just leave it there?
Twilly: Hmm…this is a pwoblem
Twilly: This is the third case of hydra ankle owie-itis syndrome this month
Twilly: Which one was it?
Alta: This one…
Alta: Is there anything you can do?
Twilly: You just let Dr. Twillies handle this
Twilly: How’s that feel?
Alta: It feels…
Alta: Hey, wow! It feels great! THANKS!
Taros: Thanks Twilly, you’re the best!
Twilly: Ah - ah - ahhh, that’s DR. Twilly today *wink*
Twilly: Uh ohs…
Twilly: *sniffs the air*
Twilly: I think Cysero ‘sploded something again…
Twilly: Oh Ash, it’s you! No luck with your girl friend?
Ash: She’s still as fiery as ever
Alta: Um…We’re gonna get going
Taros: Y - yeah…Good luck, Ash!
Twilly: Aww, Twilly is sorries
Twilly: I wish I could heal your voice, but it’s not hurting you…so it’s not something to heal. There has to be some bright side..
Ash: You never need a match again!
Some Time Later
Hero: Um, Ash…?
Twilly: Wwoooohh, Twillies is getting dizzy!
Warlic: Ash…Ash Dragonblade and I have been talking and may have found the solution to the…
Warlic: fire issue
Hero: The best way to combat fire is with ice. I think you’ll be able to find a cure in the Frozen North
Warlic: You’ll have to be careful though, the north is home to many dangerous species
Warlic: But one might hold the cure, as most of the monsters in that area have developed natural ways to combat fire
Hero: There is also a legend amongst the Kilguin, one of the northern tribes
Hero: It tells of a princess frozen deep within a cave that’s guarded by frost wisps
Hero: They say on very cold nights, you can hear her singing echo out of cave and that she sings about wanting to finally see the sun
Warlic: If the wisps are keeping her frozen, then you might be able to use one to freeze the fire out of your friend
Ash: We’ll head north then!
Ash: There’s a princess to save!
Ash: And you’ll finally be able to tell us where you’re from!
Ash: Thanks for coming with me
Ash: I just wish…
Ash: I guess what I’m trying to say is…
Ash: Can…Do you think you could maybe try to keep up? You’re lagging a little bit
Ash: Ahahaha! I was just kidding! Can’t you take a joke?!
Ash: Shh, there she is!
Ash: She looks so sad…
Ash: How do we unfreeze her…
You earned the title: Princess Slayer!
Ash: You can talk!
Ash: Are you, ok, uh…well, what’s your name?
Girl: I don’t remember…Who…who are you?
Ash: *(Muffled screams of rage)*